


The Pie Job

by thingswithwings



Category: Leverage
Genre: Baking, Chromatic Character, F/M, Fluff, Food, M/M, Multi, Pie
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-01-19
Updated: 2010-01-19
Packaged: 2017-10-24 00:42:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,146
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/256943
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thingswithwings/pseuds/thingswithwings
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Eliot is baking pies. Alec and Parker are hoping to eat pies. Not my most complicated plot.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Pie Job

"Will you stop!" Eliot smacks Alec's hand with a wooden spoon. Alec yelps and draws his hand back from the beautiful, beautiful pie that stands steaming, gorgeous and golden-brown, on the counter. "That's not for you!"

"Excuse me, I believe you said this was a tester pie," Alec objects. "Tester pies are fair game." Plus, it looks delicious.

"What are you, a pie-lawyer? It's too still hot, the consistency won't be right yet. And you'll burn your mouth." Eliot brandishes the spoon again.

"Okay, you know what, when you start sounding like my Nana I gotta say it makes you far less attractive." He holds up a hand to gesture at Eliot's general outline, the broad scowliness of him. "Just so you know."

Parker strolls into the kitchen. "Ooooh, pie," she says, and while Eliot's still standing by the stove with Alec, she picks a slice of sugary apple out of the bowl on the counter and pops it in her mouth.

"There's not gonna be any pie if you all keep eating all the ingredients."

"And yet I notice that she doesn't get whapped with a _spoon_ ," Alec sniffs.

"God help me, you two don't get out of my kitchen –"

"We're going, we're going," Parker grins, tugging on Alec's arm and pulling him around to the other side of the island, technically out of the kitchen but still close enough to lean over the finished pie and inhale deeply.

Eliot watches them do this for a moment. "That is seriously creeping me the hell out."

"Feeeeeed us," Alec groans.

"They're for the con," Eliot protests, picking up the bowl with the apples and shaking a little more cinnamon into it.

Parker looks sidelong at Alec. "Should we tell him?"

Eliot pauses in his stirring, suddenly wary, like he's ready for a fight. With his little apron and funny hat on, it's pretty much adorable. Even so, Alec backs up a step. "So, Eliot, uh, Nate sent us to tell you . . . "

"Oh, oh, no. Hell no. Not again."

"So, we can eat this pie now, right?" Parker grins and puts her chin down on the counter, eyeing the pie at its own level.

"I am never cooking anything for any of you again. That's it. I don't care how many little orphans are depending on us or how many grieving widows need revenge, I am never – going – to – okay, _what_?"

"You'd say no to orphans?" Parker scowls. "That's pretty low, Eliot."

"I was an orphan," Alec says, crossing his arms.

Parker nods. "Yeah, me too."

"There aren't any orphans in this case! This is a case about investment fraud! And it turns out we don't need these pies anyway!"

"You don't have to be so mean about it," Alec insists. They all stand together in a long silence. Then Eliot sighs.

"Fine, eat the pie," he says. "Burn your tongue, see if I care."

"Yes!" Parker throws her arms in the air. Alec pulls three forks out of the drawer, and they both start to dig in immediately, not bothering with individual plates.

Eliot gives them both a narrow look. "What part of the con were these pies for, anyway?" he asks.

Alec looks up at him quickly, swallowing the bite of admittedly-too-hot but so-so-worth-it cherry pie he's already got in his mouth. "Pardon?"

"You didn't tell me what Nate said the pies were for," Eliot says, slowly.

"Oh, oh, they were for – " Alec begins, then glances at Parker.

"It was the, you know, the," Parker says.

"The bakery facade scam," Alec says, at the same time Parker says "the bake sale con."

Eliot licks his lips, and his eyes get even narrower, if that's possible. Alec uses a tea towel to pick up the pie, cradles it to his chest, and takes a step back.

"Are you telling me," he says, "that you two _conned me into baking you pies_?"

"Hmmm," Parker says.

"Well," Alec says.

Just then, the oven timer dings.

"Look, Eliot, man, you can be mad at us if you want to, but," he talks right over Eliot, who's trying to interrupt, " _but_ , these pies are truly, mmm," he rubs his stomach, "delicious, and, and works of art – don't you want to get them out of the oven before they burn?"

"Is it worth taking it out on the pie?" Parker adds, plaintively. Swiftly, she spears another bite out of the pie in Alec's hands and shoves it in her mouth.

Eliot hesitates.

Alec shakes his head. "Not worth it, man."

Slowly, Eliot pulls on his oven mitts and bends down to remove the other two pies from the oven – ginger pear and lemon meringue. Once they're securely set on the counter, he takes off the mitts and tosses them on the top of the stove, then picks up a fork thoughtfully.

"What do you think he's doing with that fork?" Parker stage-whispers to Alec.

Eliot strolls over and, sighing, digs his fork into the cherry pie in Alec's hands.

"What's really pathetic," he says, chewing slowly, "is that you guys didn't even have a cover story for this whole thing."

"We – really didn't think it was gonna work," Alec says.

"We thought you would see right through us, especially after last time," Parker adds. Alec kicks her in the shins.

"Ow," she says.

"Last time?" Eliot's eyebrows go up. "No, you know what, don't tell me. I don't wanna know. Have I ever cooked food that was actually for a con?"

"Um," Alec says. Parker smiles broadly.

"But it makes you happy when you bake," she says, reasonably. "And it makes us _very_ happy when you bake. It's not our fault if you need a little encouragement to indulge in your favourite hobby." Alec nods his agreement, and they both sit down on the sofa, pie cradled carefully between them.

Eliot plucks the cute little hat off his head and tosses it to the floor.

"You're both just lucky my pies are too pretty to throw."

"Aw, c'mon, don't be like that," Alec says. Eliot plonks down on the cushions next to them and scowls, tight-lipped.

"Here," Parker says, holding out a forkful, "have some pie."

Eliot glares until it becomes clear that he can either open his mouth or listen to Parker make airplane noises; then, grudgingly, he opens his mouth. Parker cheers and slides the pie onto his tongue.

Once he swallows, Alec bends down and kisses a smudge of pie filling off his lips. When he pulls back, Eliot's rolling his eyes, but he's also not scowling anymore.

"Hey," Alec grins. "We'll make it up to you."

"Oh yeah?" he's almost laughing now, in spite of himself. "How?"

Parker leans over Alec's lap and smears a fingerful of warm cherry filling on Eliot's cheek. "Well," she says, mock-frowning, "we can always start by cleaning you up a little."

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [The Pie Job [Podfic]](https://archiveofourown.org/works/2906291) by [theleanansidhe](https://archiveofourown.org/users/theleanansidhe/pseuds/theleanansidhe)
  * [[Podfic] The Pie Job](https://archiveofourown.org/works/10102439) by [sophinisba](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sophinisba/pseuds/sophinisba)




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